Your Subconscious Won’t Allow You to Become Something You Resent

Why I’ve been stuck — and the series it unlocked

Yesterday I uncovered two subconscious beliefs:

1. Wanting is bad.

2. Rich people are bad.

Then I heard a line that resonated so deeply it answered the question of why I’ve been “stuck” for so long:

“Your subconscious mind won’t allow you to become something you resent.”

Let me back up.

I’ve been talking about building this — the YouTube channel, the business, all of it — for a very long time. And it’s been hard. I’ve started, but I’m not at the level where I should be for the amount of time I’ve been talking about it. Granted, I have three kids. I’m a wife. They’re on summer break right now, so they’re home. It’s not like I have an abundance of time. I have plenty of reasons — plenty of excuses — not to do it.

But it’s really bothering me that I still haven’t created a reliable source of income. And I’ve been talking about this for a very long time.

So yesterday I was running through a framework on money blocks, trying to uncover what’s really keeping me here. After a lot of writing, answering some questions, I found the two blocks: “I think wealthy people are bad.” And “wanting is bad.”

I reconciled two things, one- that not all rich people are bad (shout out to the conscious millionaires) and two- that I still want to be wealthy without compromising my values. I went looking for evidence of people that created wealth through expression, conscious millionaires who donated their time and wealth to help advance their counterparts. Proof of people who created companies, generational wealth, and a legacy — and were decent human beings. Conscious. Not these absent-minded billionaires who clearly don’t have a conscience.

And that’s when I made the connection.

For years I’ve had this fascination with entrepreneurs of the past, misfits, the unconventionals — who succeeded despite the odds stacked against them. I find their stories refreshing and inspiring, and I never really fully understood why they were so meaningful to me. Now I know. They’re the proof. Proof that you can embrace who you are — your weird, your innate leadership skills, your intuition, everything that makes you unconventional and stand out — and that some of those things are natural talents.

The acknowledgment of that belief has already created a major shift. The idea of sharing these stories doesn’t make me think about me getting on video. It makes me think about which story should I tell first — because these women’s lives are full of them. Getting on camera to talk about this feels easy and effortless and fun.

So I’m starting a series. I’m calling it Misfit Icons.

I don’t know everything about these women, but I’ve read several of their books and have been truly inspired. I dragged my family to Irvington, Ny to visit Madam C.J. Walker’s house. Their stories are proof for women like me — women who were called too much or not enough, who feel invisible, who have been circling their dream for years. This is about making the impossible feel possible for women who feel invisible.

A nod to the underdogs

One more thing, because it belongs here.

I was so inspired by the underdogs in this World Cup. Ecuador’s win — their game win instilled hope in the hearts of many and brought out the tears! They’re out of the tournament now, but that game gave hope to my underdog heart.

And last night we watched Argentina against Cape Verde. Cape Verde was ranked 67th, and Argentina won the last World Cup. Argentina won but Cabo Verde put up a fight. They put up a fight! It was such a great inspiring game. When I was a kid I played softball, and after every game somebody got the game ball. The most valuable player took it home. I don’t know if soccer does that, but if they did, the game ball went to the entire Cape Verde team. Parabéns Cabo Verde!

That’s a nod to the misfits. The underdogs. The ones nobody expects much from. When they shatter expectations like that, it’s truly inspiring to me.

That’s what Misfit Icons is.

Nobody expected Sara Breedlove to custom build a mansion in Irvington NY or build a sale force.

Mary Kay Ash poured her faith, her values, her thought leadership into her business’ salesforce and succeeded despite going against conventional business advise. I think of her whenever I see a pink Cadillac!

All called too much. All built empires through innate expression, being of service, community, feeling, and intuition.

When it comes to the pursuit of your dreams,

Take the leap. Your fins will appear.

— Alexa Fernandes | The Quantum Mermaid 🦋

P.S. If you’d like to watch a conversation with Madam C.J. Walker’s great-granddaughter, A’Lelia Bundles (she said yes to me before there was a show to say yes to.) Watch here ⬇️ hopefully you’ll feel why this series has to exist.

All called too much. All built empires through community, feeling, and intuition.

Thank you for the honor of your time. ✨

— Alexa